If 2024 Were My Last Year: A Journey of Intentional Living”
I came across the word ‘listicle’ this month, and I thought, ouuuu, how fancy. I, however, realized a number of my posts were in a list form. I still decided to write one. The title does sound like some heavy stuff, but this really was rather a light thing to do. It’s not so serious, but it did get me to see what I’d love to do and who I would I love to be. A lot of times, the brevity of life inspires us to live more genuinely and authentically.
Before this year (2024) began, I had in mind that I wanted to be more intentional about living in the moment and being in the present. I wanted to live as though this was the only year I had left. When someone asks you how you would live the rest of your life if you had only 6 months left, it gets you thinking and often you tend to focus on the things that are of utmost importance to you.
I remember a Kdrama I watched about a girl who had a few months left to live – and she honestly didn’t behave how I thought she would. I thought she’d live the rest of her months under her sheets and hiding from the world. Instead, she did the opposite. Did she feel dejected? Hell, yes! Who wouldn’t, especially if they were still in their prime.
I thought by having in mind that 2024 was all I had (hypothetical), I might be encouraged to do more and embrace joy – the joy that a child naive to the realities of the world emulates. I first sent this list to one person and then later decided to make it a blog post.
Here’s a listicle of how I’d live my life if the rest of 2024 was all I had left…
1. I’d go on that trip even if I had to do it alone because I wanted to embark on so many trips this year. I love seeing places I’ve never seen through the perspective of car windows.
2. I’d love hard and fiercely, and it won’t break me because I’d already be gone. My heart won’t be torn apart because I’d be long gone before that happened, and I wouldn’t have to suffer. My heart fears that it will have to suffer – because that’s what it’s used to. I’d love without fear of my insecurities.
3. I’d have hard conversations. Why carry those burdens in my heart when I have little time? I’d tell the people whom I doted on how I felt hurt by their actions and how I still cherish them all the same even though I took a step back.
4. I will try and complete a manuscript. It will be beautiful. A book of the most beautiful words you’ve ever seen and also the most heart-wrenching words. I think. It should make people smile and cry and beat their chest at the same time even if the ‘people’ is just one person or two or three. I’d leave the manuscript to a trusted friend and one family whom I can have faith in to publish when I’m gone. If there’s time, I might still publish it while I’m still alive.
5. I always imagined settling down in a beautiful home with my husband. Maybe I still could. But it’d feel cruel to do that to anyone when I know I’d be leaving them.
6. I’d write letters of love to the people I love. They’ll be like leaving a bit of myself behind via words.I’d tell them to celebrate the life I lived… not the life that is gone. I’d tell them to remember how sweet and funny I was. How scared and yet brave I was at the same time.
7. I’d stop hiding my writing. What have I got to lose? After all, I only have this year. I’m going to post constantly. Share whatever I’ve got with the world. I’d give in to vulnerability and write more authentic pieces without fear of judgement.
8. I’d like to be kinder as much as I can. I want to be warm on those days.
9. I’d like to eat cake as much as I can. I’ve always imagined buying a cake and eating it alone. It dies feel a little selfish and likely to be accompanied by some stomach discomfort.
10. For the first time, I’m not going to ruminate about the future. Because now is all I have.
11. I’d perform my pieces. I won’t hold back, and I won’t care what people think of me. I’d leave my self-consciousness aside.
12. I’d talk to whoever I want to talk to without overthinking it. I’d put my fear of rejection aside and reach out to people.
13. I think I might want to keep my impending ending with just a few people. Probably family and three loved ones. But I’m not sure. I wouldn’t want them to go through the struggle of knowing that my time is ending. I don’t want their behaviour to drastically change towards be…I want them to be themselves.
14. I might get that silly little tattoo on my finger. It will just be a one word tattoo. Live!
15. I’d be kinder. The world needs more and more kindness.
16. I’d lie on the floor and watch my ceiling and cry and be angry and also be grateful for the life I lived and the people who saw me and made it worthwhile.
17. I’d execute all the great/cool ideas that pop in my head, which I’m quick to discard because I don’t feel brave enough.
18. I’d finally be brave enough to be more intentional with my life… I’d let go of the past. I won’t carry grudges. I will forgive easily and let go. I would love and cherish. I’ll be more compassionate with myself.
Whether I have one year or 6 months or an eternity to live, I believe that I do not need to wait for extraordinary circumstances to live the life I want. Here’s to intentional living for the rest of this year.
PC: Tunde
Sed 